What is holding us back

Do you like networking?​​

If the answer is yes, awesome. You may want to skip this post.

If the answer is so-so or no, keep reading.

​The majority of you (who don´t like networking)​, usually say that either you find the process tedious, or you prefer to achieve things on your own merit.

Let´s address each of these arguments one by one.

Networking = tedium

​​​There are no shortcuts, and you can't avoid some discomfort, at least initially, until you get used to networking.

However, why is it that well-connected people enjoy networking more than you? Is it the chicken or the egg?

Well-connected people are often of higher socio-economic status. And the researches have found that these individuals are more likely to believe their success is due to their own talent and hard work. They are keener on networking because they are confident that they have something to offer and that others will be receptive to their outreach. You can summarize that in one word: confidence.

Let´s take layoffs as an example.

What would you do if you were fired?

Evidence shows that well-connected people of a higher socioeconomic status typically reach out to a wide range of contacts, including individuals they have met only occasionally in their working lives. The rest, by contrast, tend to share their situation only with their closest associates, such as family members and old friends.

Maybe these generalizations don´t apply to you. But still, it is worth taking some time to reflect on whether your apathy for networking may be just that, or whether it stems from the fear that-when you approach someone, they may ignore you, judge you, or find you of little interest.

The good news is that confidence can be built. Networking itself builds confidence, and finding something to offer in exchange makes you feel less awkward. In the post "How to Network" we share guidance on finding your own networking style and ways to create value for the other person.

Networking = guilt

Another reason that pulls us back from building connections is our mindset: that networking is self-serving or that getting a job through networking has less merit. 

And when we believe that any attempt to establish relationships is only for our benefit, we are less inclined to do it. 

But...​​

Networking isn’t about asking random people for jobs (by the way, the job is never immediately on the table)

Networking isn´t about asking people for favors and never contacting again

Networking isn´t about using people

Networking is a skill, as much as public speaking or analytical thinking.​

Another consideration that can hold us back when networking is not having an open mind. Most people prefer to discuss politics, religion, or Taylor Swift with others who think alike. With networking, it isn´t the same. Our comfort level is to network with people we know and like; people with similar backgrounds and points of view. You may be tempted to think that a person with a fancy degree or job title may be arrogant or superficial, and that you will not connect well. Don´t do that. You will limit your exposure to people who can offer new connections and ideas.​

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